Grieving for others

I have not felt the pain of losing someone really close to me. Since I have started reading blogs and being on Twitter, I have interacted with, grieved with, and cried with people who are enduring incredible sadness and pain.

It has been amazing to see the good in people. People rally around and give advise, give money, give time, and try to support the best they can these incredible individuals. I love to see people coming together. It is inspirational to me. But, it is hard to see people in pain and hurting. I am someone who loves to help. I live half way cross the country and these individuals do not know me. How can I help them? I wondered and the answer is very simple. They provide the answer if we listen. They have taught me to listen, to observe and how mistakes made can add to the pain.

I don’t know what to do and not make things worse. How can I help? What can I do for them and families locally who are experiencing pain. These are questions I have. I stumbled upon this poem on another blog I read. It helped me some so I thought I would share it.

Go ahead and mention my child,
The one that died, you know.
Don’t worry about hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn’t show.
Don’t worry about making me cry.
I’m already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing
The tears that I try to hide.
I’m hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending she didn’t exist.
I’d rather you mention my child,
Knowing that she has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing.
I say “pretty good” or “fine”.
But healing is something ongoing
I feel it will take a lifetime.
~ Elizabeth Dent ~

Matt Logelin and Heather & Mike are the two blogs that I follow the most right now. Matt, if we listen, lets us provide help by contributing to the The Liz Logelin Foundation. This is a worthy cause helping widows and widowers who are in need. Heather & Mike let us help by donating to the March of Dimes at this site March for Maddie.

I know I can never take away the pain of Matt, Heather, and Mike. I know I cannot take away the pain of the family at work who lost their 11 year old son. I know I cannot take away the pain of the sweet teenager who recently lost her Father. What can I do? I can listen, talk fonding of those I know, and ask to hear stories and memories of those who have been lost. I will try to listen, I will try to support, I will try not to cause pain to the people I know in real life and those I have met online.

I have been inspired by Matt, Heather, and Mike. I know that they are trying to help others out of their tragedies. Their blogs are raw, brutally honest, real, and educational. Educational to those of us who have not gone through their pain. Educational to us who don’t know what to say or what to do. Sometimes it feels wrong to be inspired because I wish from the bottom of my heart they were not going through the pain.

I can only hope, that if someday I encounter pain of this magnitude someone will be there and do this for me. I have faith people will, I have watched and experienced it already.


About PB and Jazz

mom of three and a dog
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2 Responses to Grieving for others

  1. pgoodness says:

    This is lovely. 🙂

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